“I was just watching The Hunger Games and The Road, and man, when it all shuts down, the only skill I have is Blade Runner trivia. I have nothing to offer. I’m the first one you kill or enslave. Maybe I can write speeches for the new warlord: “Walk away from the fuel and we’ll grant you safe passage.” There you go. I’ve got a couple dick jokes you can use. But after that? I don’t know what not to eat or touch, so if all you have is me on a sunny day, people’s lives will be at risk.” — Patton Oswalt, on his lack of survival skills. [Vulture]

Image: Patton Oswalt/Mark Davis/WireImage

Tags: Patton Oswalt