Forget the Rabbit, Meet the Fireman

The new face of sex toys debuts this week at Fab.com.

Meet the cast.

Everyone knows that when women talk, they refer to men not by who they are, but what they do — meaning, lunchtime fodder includes all the dirty details of what the Finance Guy, the Law Student, or French Tourist did the night before.

Smile Makers, a company whose ethos is that “a smile is a woman’s best cosmetic,” picked up on this habit and added a personified twist to their new line of what they call “glee contraptions.” They’ve actually got a colorful cast of characters for every other night of the week, each designed with a different role to fill. There’s the Fireman, whose fan-like shape provides more surface area to fan the flames; the Tennis Coach, equipped with a ball-shaped fixture at its tip, is there to serve; and we’re guessing the Millionaire’s smooth, cigar-inspired shape makes you feel like a million bucks. And then there’s the perplexing Frenchman, who appears to be wearing a high, very starched collar. Like the real French, he’s difficult to understand, so what he’s going to do for you is anyone’s guess.

Between the recent releases of Tenga‘s Keith Haring suction cup and Yves Behar‘s JimmyJane line, it appears the art of designing the vibrator has reached an all-time high.

The Fireman

The Tennis Coach

The Millionaire

— Janelle Zara

The Mysterious (Or Incomprehensible?) Frenchman