Winter has undeniably arrived in New York, and after a fall full of art-sparked romantic longing, it now takes some serious heat to cause an Art World Missed Connection. There are some proven methods, however, judging by this week’s batch of posts: The creepily sexual work of Mike Kelley on view at MoMA PS1; the forced proximity of hundreds of strangers waiting in line to get into Yayoi Kusama’s “Infinity Room” installations at David Zwirner; and of course, that inexhaustible well-spring of sexual attraction, a naked person covered in body paint. Let’s star with the latter.
At Friday’s “Deck the Walls” party at the New York Academy of Art, one of the nude, paint-covered models made eyes at an attendee who may have taken him for a mere statue. As a result, the nude man posted the exceptional item “New York Academy of Art Christmas Soirée – m4m – 29 (TriBeCa),” which reads:
You: Tall, blonde hair, handsome
Me: Tall, black hair, naked and festively painted.
I winked at you from high atop my pedestal.
Anyone who is willing to appear nude and covered in paint before hundreds of strangers is top-notch boyfriend material. Get on that, tall and handsome blond guy!
Meanwhile, in Chelsea, two people waiting in line for the Kusama “Infinity Room” installations at David Zwirner said nothing to each other, but their furtive glances spoke volumes, or something. One of them went home immediately and posted “tall blonde guy from david zwirner gallery, infinity mirror room – w4m – 24 (Chelsea),” in which she recounts:
I really hope that for some random reason you do a search and come across this post. I’m the tall brown girl with big glasses in a green beanie, green coat and grey backpack. You’re the tall blonde guy with a ponytail, black beanie, brown glasses and green coat. You were standing behind me while we suffered in the freezing cold to see the infinity mirror room exhibit this morning. I was really hoping that you would say something to me because I wasn’t brave enough to try to strike up a conversation with you in front of all those people. Plus I wasn’t sure if the girl you were talking to was your girlfriend or someone you met in the line. We locked eyes before I went into the tenticle room exhibit but you were so far away. Honestly, I only went back to see the paintings again hoping that you would say something and as soon as I worked up the nerve to try to approach you, you left. I really hope that by some really long shot you come across this and we meet again.
Well we just have one question: Could this be the same tall, blond guy who was gawking at a nude during the New York Academy of Art party? Is the New York City art world being by targeted by a serial heart-breaker? Only time will tell.
For now, we leave you with this rather unremarkable post from MoMA PS1, titled “mike kelley exhibit, saturday – m4w – 26 (PS1)“:
you were with your two girlfriends chatting through the exhibit and i didn’t want to step in. you were staring at me as much as i was you, brunette with the beige sport jacket.
Whatever, dude; if it doesn’t involve a tall and handsome blond guy we really couldn’t care less.
— Benjamin Sutton (@bhsutton)
(Image: Detail from Paul DeMuro, “ill-lit hearts,” 2013. Courtesy the artist. Via Paddle8.)