Our favorite rapper/artist/critic/young man Hennessy Youngman (aka Jayson Musson, among many other self-bestowed monikers) has given the internet yet another musical gem – that is, if you rightfully give him the credit he deserves for “Harlem Shake.” His latest project, “CVS Bangers” (embedded below), was first posted on his Tumblr last week, and is a roughly 30-minute playlist comprised of mellow, heavily synthesized jams you’d likely encounter meandering in the aisles of your favorite drugstore.
Interspersed with some classic fog horn, the smooth radio voiceover commentary in between tunes drops phrases like, “ON FIRE,” “I SEE YOU TAKING THOSE SELFIES INSTAGRAM MOMMIES,” and, appropriately, “A LANNISTER ALWAYS PAYS HIS DEBTS,” – along with some other mildly inappropriate comments about Dolly Parton that we won’t mention here. Youngman’s statement about the not-quite-muzak piece can be found on his Soundcloud page, and reads:
“CVS BANGERS IS THE AUDIOSCAPE FOR WHEN YOU’RE BUYING TAMPONS OR A 12 PACK OF CONDOMS, A SAMPLING OF THOSE MAGIC TUNES THAT PLAY WHEN YOU’RE CONTEMPLATING HOW RIDICULOUS YOU WOULD LOOK CARRYING 24 ROLLS OF TIOLET PAPER ON THE TRAIN, THOSE BITTERSWEET TUNES OF YESTERYEAR THAT SKIP THROUGH YOUR MIND AS YOU READ THE NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION ON THE BACK OF A BOX OF FROZEN PIZZA AND OPT FOR A PINT OF ICE CREAM INSTEAD, THOSE SPECIAL DITTIES THAT ACCOMPANY YOUR SMASHING THE BAR CODE OF A CAN OF RED BULL AGAINST THE SCANNER OF BROKEN SELF-CHECKOUT MACHINE. CVS BANGERS IS COMMERCE ITSELF, AND COMMERCE, MY FACELESS INTERNET FRIENDS, IS BEAUTIFUL.”
For those interested, here is the complete list of songs he strings together in the pharmacy-inspired masterpiece. Yes, we listened to it all the way through, more than once because we loved it so much, so you don’t have to.
“I Wanna Know What Love Is,” Foreigner
“Where Have All the Cowboys Gone,” Paula Cole
“(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight,” Cutting Crew
“I Love You Always Forever,” Donna Lewis
“Oh Sherry,” Steve Perry
“Lady in Red,” Chris de Burgh
“Islands in the Stream,” Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers
“It Must Have Been Love,” Roxette
“These Dreams,” Heart
— Alanna Martinez