Today, for the first time in the history of our weekly perusals of Craigslist’s Art World Missed Connections, we have two posts by the same author: A young Englishman who’s been hitting some slightly off-the-beaten-track art spots and falling for their female employees. In addition to our big-hearted Brit, this week brings us posts from the Metropolitan Museum‘s oft-panned Andy Warhol show, and a Brooklynite who visited a strange Hudson Valley sculpture park. But let’s begin with our two-time poster.
In his item “Student’s Art League Gallery Employee – m4w – 23 (Upper West Side),” our repeat writer recounts his encounter with a fetching female gallery-sitter:
Hi you were working in the gallery at the students art league a week or so ago when me and a friend came in. You have short black hair and look strikingly like a young marisa tomei (a good thing). I was wearing a green jacket, fair skinned with very dark short hair and black rimmed glasses. I’m English and was talking to my friend about my family, I made a comment about Ireland which I saw you laugh at. You were really cute and it would be cool to hang with you!
And then, four minutes later, a young man who — for reasons that will become obvious as you read on — we can only assume is the same British twentysomething despite having reverse-aged one year in the interval, posted “Lee’s Art Store Employee! – m4w – 22 (Upper West Side)“:
Hey you are a girl working at Lee’s art store. You’re hispanic I believe and when I saw you were wearing a black and white striped long sleeve tshirt with purple jeans. I was in the store last Thursday and am white with short black hair, a green jacket on and black rimmed glasses. I’m from England originally although I don’t know if you would have heard me talk. You were arranging some ceramic ornaments on a table near the door when I came in. Regardless you are absolutely stunning and if you see this it would be a pleasure to talk to you or take you out to dinner!
Either this is an elaborate hoax, or our Marisa Tomei fan from across the pond was simply so overcome with affection that he forgot his age. We also find it perplexing that his posts refer to encounters that took place directly across the street from each other — the Art Students League being at 215 West 57th Street, while Lee’s Artshop is a 220 West 57th Street. (Typical tourist, not venturing beyond Midtown.) But, assuming this gent’s legit, we’d recommend a reality TV-style three-person art date (pending more posts, that is) to Superm‘s exhibition of many-limbed nude collages at envoy enterprises, followed by a tipple at a nearby after hours art set hangout — let’s say, Home Sweet Home.
Meanwhile, at the Met, a tall man was distracted from the exhibition by recurring glances from a fellow museum-goer. His post, “At Andy Warhol exhibition. Saturday eve – m4w (Upper East Side),” reads like so:
We crossed each other a couple of times at the Andy Warhol exhibition at the MET on Saturday, around 2 pm.
You were wearing a brown blouse, black jeans and a small purse.
I was wearing dark jeans and a gray shirt. I am 6’6”.
If it was you, it would be nice to meet and this time, talk, get a coffee or maybe a dinner.
It is a long shot, but hope you are reading this..
Well, tall and gray-scale sir, we recommend you impress your mystery Met date by taking her to a more obscure — and intimate! — exhibition of Warhol, his acolytes, and his contemporaries, at the Fischer Landau Center for Art.
Finally, and most cryptically, a young Brooklynite — who may or may not actually be a sculpture — was taken with a young sculpture park visitor during a Hudson River Valley art excursion to the Unison Sculpture Park. His post, “UNISON sculpture garden – w4m – 31 (brooklyn),” reads:
Saw you at the UNISON sculpture gardens this past Sunday.
We made eye contact near the tree pendulum.
Sure, I was strapped to the tree by the cult, but I couldn’t help but admire your human form.
The post also includes the photograph below, which makes us suspect that it may have been written in the voice of an inanimate (and quite creepy) sculpture:
This post is either a piece of very specifically targeted viral marketing by a striving young sculptor, or the sweetly self-effacing work of a crushingly shy young art lover. In the latter case, we recommend that these two sculpture park visitors rekindle their upstate chemistry during a stroll around Brooklyn Bridge Park, which currently boasts both a Mark Di Suvero sculpture and a series of installations by Oscar Tuazon — neither of which are nearly as creepy as the ceramic face above.
— Benjamin Sutton
(Image: Detail from Marj Bond’s “Eagle and Jaguar Warriors (Heart)”; via YourPaintings.)