Art World Missed Connections: All New Museum Edition

We expected this week’s art world missed connections to be full of stories about sexual tension-charged glances exchanged over plastic cups of box wine and condensation-dripping cans of PBR at the fall season’s first week of gallery openings, but alas those events have apparently been romance-free — we’re holding out hope for next week. While we wait, this week’s missed connections both come to us from the Lower East Side’s bonafide Love Lane, the Bowery, where two female New Museum visitors had fleeting interactions with intriguing men — one while buying books, the other while whipping her hair.

In the post titled “Chromatics at the New Museum / metropolitan G – w4m,” a young woman describes how she nearly took out the object of her romantic interest when she assaulted him with her hair while they went down the stairs during the September 5 Chromatics performance:

Saw you at the New Museum’s free Chromatics show, where I unintentionally flung my hair into your face as we descended the stairs. Regretted not extending the conversation. Then I just saw you waiting for the G at Metropolitan. Never thought I would post a missed connection on Craigslist but I’m curious.

This would make a great “This is how I met your father…” story one day. If these two manage to reconnect, we recommend a visit to venerable G train institution, MoMA PS1.

Item number two, “New Museum Store Employee – w4m – 27 (Nolita / Bowery),” is distinctly less creepy than our last missed connection involving a museum bookstore employee — “I will make you mine, my beautiful Asian goddess.” The smitten book-buying writer recounts:

After spending a few hours in the museum today, I stopped in to the museum store. It was around 3:30pm and you were working the register.

As ridiculous as it sounds, I instantly felt like I wanted to chat you up, but alas didn’t have the guts to even make eye contact with you while buying my books! You were wearing a greyish shirt and have tattoos. I had a blank tank top on and a long black and white gingham skirt.

**writing this was a dare by friends. why the heck not!**

Now, we think this post is adorable and all, but not making eye contact with someone while you buy goods from them doesn’t make you seem endearingly shy, it kinda just makes you seem like a jerk. That being said, you sound like a good fit — similar styles, a matching book addiction and book supply — so we’d recommend you meet up after the bookboy gets off work on Wednesday around the corner at Lehmann Maupin for the Teresita Fernández opening. If you still can’t make eye contact, you can fleetingly make eyes at each other through her mirrored installation.

— Benjamin Sutton