On Saturday the New York Post published a terrible, terrible list of five crowd-sourced pickup lines suggested by visitors at MoMA, ranging from a Surrealism joke that surely had André Breton spinning in his grave to a tacky proposition to model nude. Not to be outdone, IN THE AIR has come up with 10 much funnier — and, we’d like to think, more effective — arty pickup lines. We’ve arranged them below, from most romantic to raunchiest. Use with caution.
“I may not be an Yves Klein, but I’d be pretty blue if I couldn’t get your phone number.”
“If you were Marina Abramovic I would sit in the MoMA lobby and stare at you all day.”
“Do you have an audio tour, because I want to hear all about you.”
“I’d better put on my conservation gloves, because you’re too beautiful to handle.”
“Are you a Shepard Fairey poster? Because I can’t believe you don’t already belong to someone else.”
“Being around you makes me higher than attending Rob Pruitt’s ‘Cocaine Buffet.’”
“You must be a Richard Serra sculpture because I want to get involved with you, end up stuck in a loop, then get spit out right where I started.”
“Let me be your Frank Gehry and I’ll be sure to properly balance your curves.”
“You must be an Anish Kapoor sculpture, because I can see myself in you.”
“If I were Tehching Hsieh and you were art, I definitely couldn’t stop doing you for a whole year.”
Post your own below — or try them out on us if you run into IN THE AIR at a gallery.
— Kyle Chayka, Julia Halperin, Benjamin Sutton
Tags: Anish Kapoor, Frank Gehry, Marina Abramovic, New York Post, Pickup lines, Richard Serra, Rob Pruitt, Shepard Fairey, Tetching Hsieh, Yves Klein
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“Is that a tube of oil paint in your pocket or are you happy to see me?”
“You remind me of a Damien Hirst painting…over priced and hard on the eyes.”
“I’ve enjoyed this conversation so much I am going outside and do a Van Gogh – cut off one of my body parts.”
“You would be amazed by the orgasm one can get with a number 14 sable brush.”
“I’m a performance art major at Vassar.”
Do you have a Hinnebusch?
Those lines are all horrible and super-duper cringe-worthy
Instead –
“So did you see anything you liked?”
Girl, you’re like a Rothko, when I look at you, I feel sublime.
This was stupid and a waste of space. Message to ArtInfo: Try a little harder next time.
The only thing I’m offended by is the stock photo…